I don’t need to wait for tomorrow.

Today is not going as planned.

I don’t know exactly what happened. The dark, rainy morning didn’t exactly get me off to the greatest start. I think I forgot to wash my face in the shower and the house is freezing but the heat won’t turn on. I feel like the energy has been sucked out of me, even though I ate my usual breakfast. My eyes began to hurt after only being on a computer for half an hour. I started to feel a tiny bit dizzy and tired.

I’ve read a lot of ~inspirational~ articles about the power of getting things done before 10 am (or 9 am or 8 am or 7 am). Recently, I have not been getting anything done before 10 am. I feel great if I have showered and eaten something before 10.

Often times, if I don’t get the day properly in gear after a couple hours of being up, I will write off the whole of the day as a failure. I will say, “Oh well, guess this day isn’t going to turn into anything productive or fun or good,” and resign myself to wasting the (many) remaining hours.  I know all those platitudes about tomorrow is a new day! If today wasn’t going well by noon, I would just wait for tomorrow.

What was I doing in those many hours once I had written off the remainder of the day? Rewatching very old Hannah Hart videos, playing endless Sporcle quizzes, annoying my brother, staring into space, procrastinating on setting the dinner table, lying on the couch while my mom watched TV,  literally just wasting time until I could go to bed and wake up the next day with a fresh slate. And there are a lot of hours after 10 am.

I don’t need to wait for tomorrow.

The ‘day’ is the most powerful unit of time. It dictates so much of our lives in a very physical way, much more so that a week or a month or a year. But I don’t need to view my life purely in terms of good days and bad days. I can have a bad morning and a great afternoon. Maybe even followed by a mediocre evening. I can have a sour 30 minutes and then return to having a stellar rest of the day. I can take time in the middle of the day to reset a little bit, tricking my body and mind into thinking that we have entered a new discrete unit of time. Then I can get up, and treat the remainder of the day as if the morning (or early afternoon) was so long ago, as if separated by a whole night. I don’t need to wait for tomorrow, I can have a new day right now.

Today my break was watching a short movie on Netflix that I had been meaning to watch for years. This was a perfect re-set activity; I got to lie down, not pay attention very much, eat some snacks, and even cross something off of a long-term bucket list. There was no auto-play of a next movie (this is why I didn’t pick an episode of Netflix or TV). Then I got up, cleared my dishes, and sat down and wrote this. Having now recharged and written 500 words, I have saved the rest of the day. I feel motivated to clean a little, walk the dog, accomplish other things online, and eat dinner with friends.

I don’t need to wait for tomorrow.

I can start again now.

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